Boosting the spirit

If you are a Victorian then you must have heard Mr Maran and Mr Low told you about the Victorian spirit for countless of times. Have you ever wonder what is so special about the Victorian spirit, why is it so important for us ? Well, I asked myself the same thing. It was not untill when I came back from the Dragon Boating activity held by the PSG of VS that I got the answer for myself.

It was Mr Siow who asked me to join him and some other boarders in this activity. At about 8 on a sunny Sunday morning, we gathered up in front of the hostel. Soon after that, the yellow cab which has a Victoria badge painted on his door slowly departed with us inside.

We reached there when the MC had already starting to read the grouping. I was in group A3, together with Ms.Cheika, my PE teacher, a Sec 1 boy’s family, an Indian man, the MC, and later on, we have a NCC-sea boy as well. 

Before the real activity we had a small game. The hosts putted some stuff like paperclips, water bottles, etc. on the ground and the teams had to remember them as they would have to write down as much as possible the name of the stuff on a piece of paper. The team which have the most correct names would be the winner. It was tight as everyone gathered and sandwiched between each other around the piece of cloth where the stuff were putted on. I still remember Mr.Siow’s loud and clear voice to command his each of his teammates to remember some certain things. It was very fun and the fact that his team did not win even make it funnier.

Back to the activity, we had some brief but detailed introduction and safety tips from 2 attractive female guiders. After that, we were ready for some warm up. Seeing the Sec 1 boy’s parent joining him and cheering him made me feel good. From a shy boy at the beginning, he became more confident and I know that his spirit was up to the race. 

There was a part when the captains of the team had the chance to talk. Mr Low came with a joke saying that his team would be the winner of the race or else it would continue until his team become the winner. Everyone laughed. I was surprised, he used to be very hard on us during school time, I never thought he could make such a joke with a broad smile on his face. Is it the Victorian spirit ? He did not only motivated other teams’ will but made everyone felt closer to each other also. After him, other captains also made their speeches with confident. There was another joke from Mr Siow as he said his team would install a motor on his boat.

Tightened out life jackets, we got into our boat. With good lucks from each other, the teams were ready to set sail.

My first time on the water was not bad after all. Followed the guider’s guides, we soon mastered the boat. The fun part is, we had to shout out really loud whenever we were putting the oar up or down the water in order to make everyone concentrate on the pace and make the boat move faster. This was real fun as everyone including the women or the small boys were shouting out loud. It was so fun and once again, Mr.Siow’s voice was the loudest of all. I made me think of the roar of a lion.

During practices, a boat approached our and started to splash water onto us and our boat. Then it bursted into a fun fight between the boats as we approached each other, using our oars and cans to splash water to others. The boats were shaking hard and everyone soaked wet from head to toes. We laughed a lot. I had so much fun and eventually, realized that our bonds had grew stronger.

After awhile, the moment of the race finally came. Four boats were ready at the starting line with their crews full of excitement and ambitious. The atmosphere became hotter than ever and it was not only because it was a sunny day.

Everyone held their breath, their arms hold the oars tight. They were waiting for the ready signal. Suddenly it became so silent around. I tried to relax myself.

 

“3… 2… 1… Go !!!!!!!”, the voice of a guider finally broke the silent.

The boats accelerated at full speed, heading toward the goal. Everyone were trying as hard as possible. There were a lot of sound then. The voices of the crews of the boats were saying : “One ! Up ! Two ! Up … ” Sounds of the oars were slashing the water steadily. Sounds of the boats that were breaking through the wind. All of them mixed up together, making a huge chaos. I was blurred because of water splashed onto my face, the only thing I could do was to concentrate in our boat’s pace and kept on sailing. Behind me, the Sec 1 boy’s family were also trying very hard, I knew it as their voice were really loud and happy.

When we finally got throw the goal line, I used my hand to rub my eyes and realized that we were the third (or the fourth … XD … I didn’t notice much about the B1 crews) to cross that line. Mr Low’s team were the winner with no doubt. However, did not letting the outcome affect us, our team cheered together, “Good work, everyone!”, and I saw broad smile in every faces.

We went up right after that and had ourselves a quick lunch before some of the young and fresh guys like Mr Siow and his boarders came back for more of the boating. We had the chance to race with the two other teams which weren’t got the chance to race with us just now because of the lack of boats. 

It was a quick and fun race, however. We, the fresh and young guys team, dominated the race and reached the goal line first. Still, Mr Siow’s voice was still the loudest of all. We had so much fun.

Every parties have their ending. After returning the life jackets and oars back, we gathered for the prize giving section. We had one more game before the real prizes were given, however. Some of us got our eyes covered with a piece of cloth and we had to dance when music from a cassette was played, if one moved after the music was stopped then he/she would be disqualified. The prize was given to a teacher from VS, he was dancing so nice that all of us were surprised, a part of it was because he was quite fat.

Mr Low and the MC gave their last words to the crowd, everyone was satisfied for the day even though we were already very exhausted at that time. We were really looking forward for more of the activities held by the VSP. In the end of the day, we all became our good friends as we show each other our harmony by giving out our kindest smiles. 

By the way, Mr Siow was still the one with the loudest voice.

 

Now I really understand the meaning the Victorian spirit. It was not about winning. It was all about giving our best for the group and in return, no matter what the outcome might be, we would still get ourselves better friendships and trust for each other. The spirit was also about to never give up despite the situation, always believe that even in the worst cases, you can still get through and become the winner of your own self. If you can do that, then, congratulation, you got the Victorian spirit running in your blood!

1 Response to “Boosting the spirit”


  1. 1 Mr Randell Siow July 22, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    “If you are a Victorian then you must have heard Mr Maran and Mr Low told you about the Victorian spirit for countless of times.”
    -Tense “…tell you about”

    “Have you ever wonder what is so special about the Victorian spirit, why is it so important for us ?
    -tense. “Have you ever WONDERED…”

    “Well, I asked myself the same thing. It was not untill when I came back from the Dragon Boating activity held by the PSG of VS that I got the answer for myself.”
    -spelling “until”
    - VS PSG; not “PSG of VS”

    It was Mr Siow who asked me to join him and some other boarders in this activity. At about 8 on a sunny Sunday morning, we gathered up in front of the hostel. Soon after that, the yellow cab which has a Victoria badge painted on his door slowly departed with us inside.
    -It is not a cab, it is a van.
    -use ‘it’ for vehicles, not ‘his’

    Before the real activity we had a small game. The hosts putted some stuff like paperclips, water bottles, etc. on the ground
    -tense. The past tense for ‘put’ is still ‘put’; no such thing as ‘putted’

    “It was tight as everyone gathered and sandwiched between each other around the piece of cloth where the stuff were putted on.
    -redundant ’sandwiched between each other’: just use “sandwiched each other” will do

    “I still remember Mr.Siow’s loud and clear voice to command his each of his teammates to remember some certain things. ”
    -grammar “…. to command each of his teamates…”

    “It was very fun and the fact that his team did not win even make it funnier.”
    -tense again. “the fact that his team did not win MADE IT EVEN funnier”

    Back to the activity, we had some brief but detailed introduction and safety tips from 2 attractive female guiders.
    -they may be attractive to you but they are not ‘guiders’, the correct term is ‘instructors’

    “Is it the Victorian spirit ? He did not only motivated other teams’ will but made everyone felt closer to each other also. ”
    -Sentence stucture “He not only motivated other teams but..”

    “After him, other captains also made their speeches with confident. ”
    -spelling “Confidence”

    “Tightened out life jackets, we got into our boat. With good lucks from each other, the teams were ready to set sail.”
    -[After] tightening our life jackets
    -[Wishing] good luck [to] each other,….

    My first time on the water was not bad after all. Followed the guider’s guides, we soon mastered the boat.
    -grammar [Folloing] the [instructor's commands], we soon…

    “The fun part is, we had to shout out really loud whenever we were putting the oar up or down the water in order to make everyone concentrate on the pace and make the boat move faster. ”
    -the oar up or [into] the water

    “Then it bursted into a fun fight between the boats as we approached each other, using our oars and cans to splash water to others. ”
    -Tense [burst] not “bursted”

    “The boats were shaking hard and everyone soaked wet from head to toes. We laughed a lot. I had so much fun and eventually, realized that our bonds had grew stronger.”
    - “and everyone [was] soaked from head….

    “After awhile, the moment of the race finally came. Four boats were ready at the starting line with their crews full of excitement and ambitious. ”
    -spelling [ambitions]

    “Everyone held their breath, their arms hold the oars tight. They were waiting for the ready signal. Suddenly it became so silent around. I tried to relax myself.”
    -tense “their arms [held] the oars tight

    “3… 2… 1… Go !!!!!!!”, the voice of a guider finally broke the silent.
    -spelling “silence”

    “The boats accelerated at full speed, heading toward the goal. ”
    -It’s not a goal, it’s a finish line.

    “I was blurred because of water splashed onto my face, the only thing I could do was to concentrate in our boat’s pace and kept on sailing.”
    -You are not ’sailing’, you are ‘rowing’- there is a difference.

    “However, did not letting the outcome affect us, our team cheered together, “Good work, everyone!”, and I saw broad smile in every faces.”
    -”However, [not] letting the outcome affect us, …”

    “We had the chance to race with the two other teams which weren’t got the chance to race with us just now because of the lack of boats.”
    -Do not use contractions in main body of essay.i.e use
    ‘were not’ instead of ‘weren’t’

    “Every parties have their ending.”
    -Every party has its ending

    “The prize was given to a teacher from VS, he was dancing so nice that all of us were surprised, a part of it was because he was quite fat.”
    -Now that is not a nice thing to say

    “The spirit was also about to never give up despite the situation, always believe that even in the worst cases, you can still get through and become the winner of your own self.”
    -”The spirit [IS] also about never [giving up] despite the situation. [To] always believe that even in the worst cases….. and be a winner [in whatever you do]
    (This part about the Victorian Spirit should be in present tense because the Victorian Spirit is something that is continuing its presence now)

    “If you can do that, then, congratulation, you got the Victorian spirit running in your blood!”
    -[Congratulations] plural

    Comments:
    Better effort but you tenses and verb/subject agreement tend to be sloppy.

    Try to connect your thoughts first and make your sentence flow from one event to another in sequence; rather than writing down all the things that happen at once.


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